Month: January 2017

Motherhood

Gender Reveal

by ohthosebabyfeels1 Comment on Gender Reveal
Gender Reveal

Before we get to the most exciting news of this whole blog post I wanted to tell you all why we decided to find out the sex of the baby this time. With William, we waited till he was born to find out if he was a girl or a boy.

I thought William was a girl for most of my pregnancy, probably up until the last 2 days then I just had no clue! We were excited to wait to find out, thinking the excitement of not knowing would get us through the pain of childbirth… But there were so many ups and downs in his birth story and I felt extremely unprepared. I really DID expect once they pulled him out of me (via c-section) that my husband was going to say we had a healthy beautiful baby girl. Although healthy and beautiful, I had a baby boy. I felt shocked, blindsided and a bit upset that I didn’t even know if I had a son growing inside of me for that past 9 months.

I think a lot of those feelings were to do with being in labour for over a day and ended in a c-section. FACT: My husband and I actually wanted our first born to be a son, so we are absolutely beyond thrilled that “it” turned out to be a HE. But, that being said, I thought I knew my body. I thought I was in tune with my emotions, feelings and intuition.

Then when I held William for the first time when I was on the operating table I thought I was going to drop him… I was so weak I told (whoever I said it to because its all a blur) that I needed someone to take him. My hearing went and I thought I was going to faint/puke or both. Neither ended up happening but with all the chaos of my sons unexpected “emergency” section, I felt completely lost. So out of touch with who I thought I was, what I was capable of and so far away from our planned home birth.

I thought I was prepared to bring our first born into this world and I was so sadly mistaken. I knew next to nothing about birth b u t I have used William’s birth as a learning tool for all of our births to come! This is why we decided to find out the sex of the baby… we wanted to be prepared. As prepared as one can be for labour and delivery, that is.

I thought our second born was going to be a boy as well. It was just my feeling from the beginning. I would laugh and say that since I think it is a boy…. it must be a girl!

Having another boy would be so incredible. We hit the freaking jackpot with William and I would love to have another boy for him to play with. Truthfully, I thought it would be easier to have another boy. Mainly because the economy is in the crapper (anyone else live in Alberta?!) and buying girl things would just add the the stress of this hard time. I can’t be the only one who has thought this way… right? Just tryna be truthful here, ya’llll.

But I think almost every mama wants a girl, just like nearly every daddy wants a boy! It’s not wrong or bad, it just is. We have a boy to carry on our family name and I eventually wanted a little girl to dress up and put little top knots in her hair (my hubs isn’t keen on me doing that to William but I am growing his hair out anyways!!!)

I want both. Another boy. And a little girl. And probably another boy and another girl after that. I want so many babies!!!!

I have felt pretty good throughout this pregnancy but there have been differences from my pregnancy with William. The 3 most noticable differences are 1. I had a line nigra line all the way up to my ribs around 12 weeks with William, I am 20 weeks and still don’t have one with this pregnancy. 2. My acne stopped in my second trimester with William and it has fiercely continued throughout this whole pregnancy so far. 3. My sex drive is actually existent this pregnancy, hence wanting to have all of Michael’s babies.

So folks. Here it is.

We are going to be welcoming the sweetest little girl into our family of 4 in June. I am balling writing this, if you want to know. We have a sweet, kind and gentle little boy and we have such a special, calm and wanted baby girl on the way to make our life even brighter!! A GIRL, our very own little girl.

 

Dress: @shoppinkblush
Photos: @glassfawnsphoto

Motherhood

How I knew we were ready to grow our family

by ohthosebabyfeelsLeave a Comment on How I knew we were ready to grow our family

I wrote this blog post two weeks before conceiving baby #2. My mind was in such a frenzy about having more babies, or not having more babies. I remember asking people how they knew they were ready to have another baby but I was never settled by their answers. But their answer isn’t my answer. Their choices don’t reflect my heart. You can’t possibly look to someone else to tell you when to go through your next season of life. It just happens when you are ready for it.

 

I’ve been really struggling with finding the “right” time to have another baby. Is there a right time?

With William, I knew I wanted a baby. It took me about 10 minutes to decide I really wanted to have a baby, and then that night we conceived him. I know it isn’t always THAT easy. If you have read some of my previous posts you know I was told I had endometriosis as a young teenager and would probably never have children or if I did it would be very hard to conceive. God laughed at that. It is like he was whispering to me that the perfect baby would be born in 9 months if we decided to have a baby. I trusted my feelings and I am so happy I did (OBVIOUSLY) and William arrived 9 months later.

This week my cousins kids were over and they played with William non stop. They were attentive, interactive and having so much fun with William. It is hard to be like that all the time as a parent, you know? In fact, I think it is impossible to be “on” all the time. I was so happy to see William having so much fun, but also sad because I know I get distracted so easily. Dishes – diaper changes, probably a poop explosion – bath – lunch – laundry, etc. (Not to mention the amount of time I am consumed with social media, which is a huge downfall of mine.) I feel like these are excuses to not play with William sometimes and they AREN’T. It is just so hard to be 100% focussed on William when there are so many chores that need to get done around the house to keep it a home.

I was watching William play with his cousins while I was cooking and he was laughing, like throw your head back laughing and I’m pretty sure his face hurt from smiling so much. I wished for a second that William wasn’t going to be our eldest child so he could have older siblings to play with. Then I realized he can be that older sibling to our next babies. So how could we not have more right away?!?

Then I think about time being taken away from William. How could I possibly take time away from William? How can I share my time? I feel like I can hardly manage as is. Or is this what most mothers feel like?

Two weeks later my heart opened up and grew an extra size at the thought of having another baby. There is no rhyme or reason to why I changed my mind, I just did. I want to share my love. I want William to experience a bond with his siblings that can’t be matched. I want to grow old with so many grand babies running around. I just knew it was time to grow our family…. and I am so excited we are going to be welcoming this little piece of heaven into our arms in June.